Abhishree's POV

Yesterday I received a long lecture from mumma as I expected.

Let me show you how it went.

We reached home and mumma took me to my room. She made me sit on the bed and sat in front of me.

She held my hands and looked into my eyes.

"Abhishree! Meri baat dhyan se sun."

(Listen to me carefully.)

She took a deep breath and started.

"Tu badi ho rhi hai ab. Ye inn gali ke ladko se saath ghumna band kr beta. Log baatein banane lage hai."

(You are growing up now. Stop roaming with this street boys. People have started talking.)

I roll my eyes and say.

"Mujhe inn sab se koi farak nhi padta. Logo ka toh kaam hi hai bhaukna. Bhaukne do na."

(I don't care about all this. People have an habit of barking. Let them bark.)

"Shree! Tujhe farak nhi padta lekin mujhe aur tere papa ko padta hai. Log tujhe kuch nhi kahenge lekin hamare upar thukenge. Tu samajhti kyu nhi hai. Ek ladki ko apne kaayde mai rehna chahiye."

(You don't care but me and your papa do. People will not say anything to you but will bad mouth us. Why don't you understand. A girl should stay in her limits.)

I looked away rolling my eyes. She held my chin and made me look at her.

"Beta. Tu badi ho gyi hai ab. Kal ko teri shaadi hogi. Aur agar tera yahi rawaiya raha toh kaise chalega. Thoda toh ladkiyon jaisa bartaav kr na."

(You are grown up now. You will get married one day. If your behavior remains the same then how will it suffice. Behave like girls.)

"Mumma! Mai koi shaadi waadi nhi kr rhi. Mujhse ye sab ladkiyon jaise sharmana and all nhi ho paayega."

(I am not getting married. I can't do these girlish stuff.)

"Shaadi toh ek din sabko krni hoti hai beta. Har beti ko shaadi krke apne ghar jaana hota hai-"

(Everyone has to marry one day. Every daughter goes to her home-)

"Mera ghar yahi hai."

(This is my home.)

She smiles and caresses my face.

"Meri pyaari bachhi hai na tu. Kyu zid karti hai. Mai kabhi kuch tere bure ke liye kahungi kya?"

(You are my lovely daughter. Why are you so stubborn. Will I ever say something bad for you?)

"Lekin mumma-mujhse ye sab nhi hoga na. Ghar baar sambhalna, pati ki seva aur bachhe and all. Mai nhi kr skti ye sab. Aap please-"

(But mumma-I can't do all this. Managing home, serving husband and children and all. I can't do this. Please-)

"Shree! Shaadi se pehle koi bhi ready nhi hota. Mai bhi nhi thi. Lekin ek baar jab aap uss insaan se milte ho jo aapko har khushi de, bhut saara pyaar de, toh sab asaan lagne lagta hai."

(No one is ready before marriage. Even I was not. But when you meet the person who gives you every happiness, love, then everything becomes easy.)

Why can't she understand that I am not meant for this. I am not meant for love.

Kyu Bhagwaan kyu? Kyu aapne mujhe ladki banaya. Nhi banna mujhe ladki. 

I go out of the house to clear my mind. One of my galli friends, Nitish is sitting on the railing of the park.

I went behind him and hit him hard on his back.

"Owww! Kuttiya kahi ki! Maara kyu?"

(You bitch! Why did you hit me?)

He shouts rubbing his back.

"Saalon! Meri mehnat ke paison se mere bina treat khaa gye tum."

(Morons! You ate the treat of my hard work without me.)

I say fuming at him. He looks away and pretends to not know what I am talking about. 

"Yaar chhod na jaane de. Waise bhi teri taraf se last treat thi. Tu thodi na khaati."

(Leave it na. Anyway it was your last treat. You won't have eaten anyway.)

"Last treat kyu be? Mai mar rhi hu kya."

(Why last treat? Am I dying.)

"Aisa hi kuch. Tu shaadi kr rhi hai na."

(Something like that. You are getting married.)

I frown and ask.

"Ye kisne bola tujhe?"

(Who told you?)

"Mummy aur aunty baat kr rhe the. Maine sun lia. Congratulations yaar."

(Mumma and aunty were talking. I heard.)

He hugged me but I was numb. 

Mumma finalised such a big thing without even telling me let alone asking me?

I marched to my home fuming in anger and frustration. How can she do this? Does my happiness and opinion have no value in her eyes?

I march in the kitchen to see my mother cooking food.

She turns to look at me and goes back to her cooking.

"Kya hua? Aise laal peeli kyu ho rkhi hai?"

(What happened? Why are you so red?)

She thinks it is a joke.

"Aap aisa kaise kr skte ho? Mujhse bina puchhe aap meri shaadi kaise final kr skte ho?"

(How can you do this? How can you finalise my marriage without asking me?)

I asked and tears of frustration started building in my eyes. I wiped them harshly and mumma sighed.

"Shaadi final nhi ki. Abhi sirf baat shuru ki hai-"

(Its not final. We have just started the talk-)

"Mujhse bina puchhe. Maine kaha ki mai shaadi krna chahti hu? Ya mai shaadi ke liye ready hu? Nhi na. Toh phir aapne kyu baat shuru ki?"

(Without asking me. Did I say that I want to get married? Or that I am ready for marriage? No. Then why did you start the talk?)

She switched off the gas knob and turned to me completely.

"Maanti hu maine nhi puchha. Lekin tere bure ke liye kuch nhi karungi mai. Kabhi khudko aaine mai dekha hai tune? Kaunsa ladka pasand krega tujhe agar tu aisi hi rahi toh. Abhishree. Beta apne nhi toh hamare baare mai soch. Tere papa aur mere liye hi sahi. Wo log bhut achhe hai. Gharbaar, parivaar sab bhut achha hai. Ladka bhi achha kama leta hai. Tu khush rahegi beta."

(I agree I didn't ask you. But I won't do anything wrong for you. Have you ever seen yourself in the mirror? Which boy would like you if you stay like this. If not you think about us. About me and your father. They are very good people. Home, family, everything is nice. The boy also earns well. You will be happy.)

"Kya khushi sirf paiso se milti hai. Agar mai kuch cheez nhi krna chahti toh kya iss society ke liye mujhe wo krna hi padega kyunki society aisa chahti hai."

(Is money happiness. If I don't want something do I have to do it because the society wants me to do it.)

Mumma looked at me and tried to come near me.

I moved back and said.

"Fine. Aapko sab sahi lag rha hai toh thik hai. Aap jaisa bologe mai aaj se waisa hi karungi. Sirf aapke aur papa ke liye."

(If you deem it fit then alright. I will do whatever you say from now on. Only for you and papa.)

I said and ran to my room. I slumped down on my bed and hid my face in the pillow and cried my heart out.

Why? Why do we always have to make compromises because of the damned society? Why can we not live the lives we want to?

I don't know for how long I cried. When I got up and went to washroom, my eyes were red.

I washed my face and tried to look fine.

After 2 minutes I looked okay. I smiled and went out.

Papa was already there and he was discussing something with mumma.

He seemed happy. He saw me and motioned me to come over. I went near him and sat beside him.

"Meri bitiya rani. Itni jaldi badi ho gyi. Tumhari mumma ne bataya hoga na. Ladka dekha hai ek tere liye. Tumhe koi aitraaz toh nhi?"

(My daughter. You grew up so fast. Your mother must have told you. We saw a boy for you. Do you have a problem?)

I gulped and closed my eyes. I shook my head and smiled at him.

"Nhi papa. Aaplogo ko achha laga toh mujhe koi problem nhi hai."

(No papa. If you deem fir then I have no problem.)

He smiled and caressed my head. He then informed mumma that they were coming to see me on the coming Sunday. And then the marriage would be finalised if everything goes fine.

I continue to look down knowing that I would definitely either start crying or start shouting if I look up in their eyes. Mumma served dinner. I had only a few bites and went inside saying that I wasn't hungry anymore. Papa asked mumma what happened to me and she saved the situation saying that I was shy. I chuckle mockingly and think of what will happen of my life in future. Help me God!
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