She took her hands out of his and his smile fell. She moved a step back and closed her eyes as if calming herself down. Opening her eyes she looked at him.
"Mazak band kijiye Adarsh. This is not funny."
(Stop joking Adarsh.)
His eyes darkened and he released a harsh breath. He took a step forward and looked into her eyes.
"Agar pyaar nhi karti mujhse toh keh do. Don't insult my love by calling it a joke."
(If you don't love me then tell me.)
He said barely controlling his tears. He didn't know what he was feeling at the moment. It was mixed emotions. Fear, pain and longing. After what felt like eternity she uttered the words and he felt like dying.
"I- i don't love you."
He continued looking into her eyes and a tear unknowingly left his eye. Not bothering to wipe it off he said.
"Fine. I respect your decision. But hum-hum friends to reh skte hai na?"
(We-we can still be friends right?)
He asked in a fear laced voice. She was very important to him and he did not want to lose her at any cost. She felt her heart breaking at his tone and gulping her tears down she nodded.
Another tear fell off his eye.
"Sakshi."
He started nervously. She hummed.
"Can-can i hug? Just once. Please."
Not able to speak anything she just nodded. Getting the permission he needed he immediately engulfed her in a tight hug. Muffling his face in her neck he cried. Her tears also started to fall and she too cried silently.
After hugging each other for a long time she whispered.
"I am sorry."
He pulled back and cupped her face. Shaking his head he said.
"Don't be sorry for what you don't feel."
Saying this he kissed her forehead lovingly. His lips lingering there for a few seconds. He placed his forehead on hers. Both of their eyes closed as they cherished each other's presence.
"Jaao."
(Go.)
He suddenly whispered. She opened her eyes and looked at him teary eyed.
"Jaao isse pehle mai kuch krdu."
(Go before i do something.)
He whispered again. She looked at him confused. He leaned close to her.
"You have no idea how bad i want to kiss you right now. So isse pehle i do that and both of us regret later, jaao yaha se."
(So go before i do that. Go from here.)
She gasped. He loosened his hold on her. She did not move.
"Jaao Sakshi. Please."
(Go Sakshi. Please.)
She looked at him with tears in her eyes and then with one last look at him she left from there.
Fortunately for her when she entered the room Pranati was in the balcony. She straight away went to the washroom and switched on the fan.
Sliding down against the wall she cried. Covering her mouth with her hand she cried.
"I am sorry Adarsh. I am so sorry."
She was whispering again and again. While he stood on the same place with tears running down his eyes. Slumping down on the ground he cried.
"I love you. I love you so much. Why? Why can't you just forget everything and move on?"
He whispered. He knew she loved him too but was not accepting it because of what happened in the past. But she has to understand that she can't sit with the past all her life.
That night both of them cried themselves to sleep. Only their pillows knew how much pain they were hiding in their hearts.
The next two days Sakshi was avoiding looking at him. She couldn't face him after what happened that night. Her eyes would speak everything to him.
**************************************
They had returned back two days ago and Sakshi was getting restless. She missed him but could not talk to him. What would she say? She made their situation awkward.
Not finding any solution she called the only person who could help her right now. And so here she was. Sitting in Pranati's cabin.
"So he proposed to you and you rejected him. Aur wo phir bhi tere saath friends rehne ko taiyar tha but now you are feeling awkward."
(And then also he wants to stay friends but you are feeling awkward.)
Pranati said processing things and Sakshi nodded slowly.
"Tu kya chahti hai?"
(What do you want?)
She asked. Sakshi looked at her.
"I mean do you want to be just friends with him ya tere mann mai bhi uske liye kuch feelings hai?"
(Or do you also have feelings for him?)
She asked. When Sakshi didn't say anything she continued.
"Sakshi it's ok to have feelings for someone and it's equally ok not to have them. Par ye tujhe pta karna hai what you feel for him. Usse bhi latkaye mat rkh. If you don't have anything for him just tell him. Wo bhi move on krega. But if you do feel something for him then talk to him and sort it out like mature adults. Aise luka chhupi khelne se tum dono ko sirf hurt hoga aur kuch nhi."
(But you have to decide what you feel for him. Don't keep him hanging. He will also move on. Playing hide and seek like this will hurt both of you.)
Sakshi sighed and said.
"Pta nhi di. He is very special to me no doubts. But love... I am not sure. Mai ek baar already iss sab mai phass chuki hu dobara nhi phasna chahti."
(I don't know di. I already did the same mistake once and don't want to repeat it.)
"Adarsh is not Piyush Sakshi. Wo tujhe kabhi hurt nhi krega iski guarantee mai le skti hu."
(He would never hurt you i can guarantee that.)
"I know di. Wo bhut achhe hai. And i don't deserve him. He deserves someone much better than me."
(He is very nice.)
"Let him decide whom he deserves and whom he doesn't. Uske decisions tu kaise le skti hai."
(How can you take his decisions.)
She sighed again. Pranati held her hands and said.
"Think about it. Talk to him. Analyze your feelings and sort it out."
Sakshi nodded. They talked about some random things and Sakshi had just gotten up when the door opened.
"Pranati ye kuch files bheji hai bhai ne ek baar study krle aur phir mujhe-"
(Pranati bhai send some files study them once and then-) ************************************** Poor Adarsh!!
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