Sakshi reached the place Adarsh had chosen. She saw him sitting in the private area he booked for them. Adarsh saw her and got up. He looked at her awkwardly. Though he had apologized but he still wanted to do so face to face to make sure that she forgave him.
They sat down facing each other.
"Umm-i am sorry for that day."
Sakshi looked at him smiling.
"Adarsh! Hamari iss baare mai baat ho chuki hai na."
(We have talked about this.)
He nodded cutely and said.
"Wo i just wanted to make sure tumne mujhe maaf kia ya nhi."
(I wanted to make sure you forgave me.)
He said scratching his neck. She laughed and said.
(Later. I am not hungry. You tell me what you wanted to say.)
She asked. He suddenly turned serious.
"What's bothering you?"
He said in a serious tone. She looked at him confused.
"Aisa kya hai jiski wajah se tum har decision darr darr kr leti ho. Jo har waqt tum kehti ho ki tumne bohot galtiyan ki hai."
(What is that you are always scared. Thaat everytime you say you have made many mistakes.)
She lookedd at taken-aback. This was not the conversation she was expecting.
"Mujhe iss baare mai koi baat nhi krni."
(I don't want to talk about this.)
She said in a low voice. He sighed and said.
"Sakshi. Galat decisions ki wajah se nhi darna chahiye balki darr ki wajah se galat decision leta hai insaan. Agar tumhare andar darr hai kisi baat ka toh kabhi sahi decision nhi le paaogi."
(One should not be scared of wrong decisions infact they make mistakes when scared. If you have fear inside you, you will never take right decisions.)
"Aap kuch nhi jaante Adarsh."
(You don't know anything.)
She said looking into his eyes.
"Toh batao na! Mai bhi toh yahi keh rha hu. Share kro Sakshi. Maybe i can help you. Friends hote hi isliye hai. Taaki jo baat aap family se na kr sko wo unn ke saath kro. Without having the fear of being judged."
(Then tell ne! That is what i am saying. Share it Sakshi. This is what friends are for. So that you can share everything that you can't with your family.)
She lowered her eyes. She knew he was right. That she has to let her guilt out.
"Bhut hurt kia hai maine sbko. Apni jealousy, apni bewakoofi ki wajah se."
(I have hurt everyone. With my jealousy and stupidity.)
She started slowly. He held her hands to encourage her.
"Hamesha se di se competition krti aayi hu. Koi mujhe unse compare nhi bhi krta toh mai hi khud ko kr leti thi aur phir sabko hurt krti."
(I have always competed with di. No one compared me to her but i did and hurt everyone.)
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She had always been very sensitive. Smallest of things and she would start crying.
"Mujhe kabhi kisi ne bhi aisa feel nhi kraya ki mujhe di se compare kr rhe hai but phir bhi maine khud hi sab imagine kr lia aur sab se dur hoti gayi."
(No one made me feel that they are comparing me to di but i imagined all that and got away from everyone.)
She choked back a sob. Wiping her tears with the back of her hands she continued.
"Di college ke first year mai thi jab she started liking a guy. Maine tab bhi unse competition kra. Just to be equivalent to her i made a boyfriend."
(Di was in first year when she started liking a guy. I was still competitive.)
His grip on her hand tightened a bit.
"Mera crush tha wo. 11th mai i started talking to him because di bhi uss ladke se baat krti thi jisko wo pasand krti thi. Kuch din baad he proposed and i accepted just because mai-"
(He was my crush. In 11th i started talking to him because di used to talk to the one she liked. Some days later he proposed and i accepted just because i-)
He caressed her knuckles to give her his support.
"I didn't have any feelings for him par phir bhi i accepted. Aur jab uss insaan ne di ka dil toda toh unhe support krne ki jagah i taunted her."
(And when that guy broke di's heart instead of supporting her i taunted her.)
She looked at him teary eyed and he felt his heart break.
"Mai bhut buri hu Adarsh. Meri wajah se di almost depression mai- unhone mujhe itna support kia jab maine Piyush se break-up kia. Jabki i was alright. Support mujhe unhe krna chahiye tha but nhi-"
(I am very bad Adarsh. Because of me di was almost in depression- she supported me so much when i broke up with Piyush. I should have supported her but no-)
She cried and hid her face in her hands.
"Jab mujhe sab pta chala na ki meri wajah se sab ko kitna hurt hua hai. I felt like dying. Piyush was a bad decision, hating my own sister and family was a very bad decision."
(When i got to know how mucch I have hurt everyone.)
They stayed in silence for some time. When her cries slowed down he said.
"Tumhe pta hai mere saath bhi aisa hi tha. I used to hate my brothers. Kyunki mujhe bhi lagta tha ki sab log mujhe unn se compare krenge kyunki mai sabse chhota hu."
(You know it was the same with me. Because i thought everyone would compare me because i was the youngest.)
He said. It was true. No one knew this about him. She looked at him wide-eyed.
"Mujhe lagta tha ki bhaiya aur bhai ke aage koi mujhe notice hi nhi krta. Sab ko sirf unn se hi umeed hai. Sab se dur hota chala gaya. Sab se nafrat. Taunts maine bhi diye hai."
(I thought that no one noticed me in front of bhaiya and bhai. Everyone has expectations from them. I got away from everyone. Hated everyone. I also taunted them.)
He said wiping her tears softly.
"Par phir jab sab kuch samajh mai aayi toh apni galtiyon ko sudhara bhi hai. Unhe lekar nhi baitha rha. Ki mujhse galtiyan hui hai toh mai darta rhu."
(But when i understood everything i have rectified also. Did not get stuck with them. That i made mistakes so i should be scared all the time.)
He smiled at her and continued.
"Life is all about moving on. You make mistakes. Everyone does. But you learn from them and move on. Agar usse lekar baith gye toh zindagi ruk jaayegi."
(If you get stuck with them then life would stop.)
"Di aur Pranati di bhi yahi kehte hai but i-"
(Di and Pranati di also say this but i-)
"Nhi. Promise me ki you will move on. Bhul jaao yr. Kaun hai ye Piyush. Does he even deserve this ki tum usse soch soch kr apni life waste kro. Does he?"
(No. Forget it yr. Who is this Piyush. Does he even deserve this much that you waste your life thinking about him.)
He said cutting her in between. She shook her head and he said.
"Exactly. He was a mistake. Right? Toh uss mistake se seeko. Aur aage badho."
(Then learn from it. And move on.)
She nodded her head like an obedient child.
"Promise me."
"Promise."
He smiled and then called the waiter and asked him to bring water.
"Come on ab chehra sahi kro. Kuch khaate hai. Mujhe toh bhut bhook lag rhi hai."
(Come on now wash your face. Let's eat something. I am very hungry.)
He said rubbing his stomach dramatically and she chuckled. He smiled looking at the smile on her face.
They had their lunch and then he dropped her to the office. ************************************** A much needed talk. Didn't know Adarsh could be this mature.
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