“So? How was your day?”

She asked and he looked ahead with a smile.

“It was good. A little tiring but good. I had lunch with some colleagues. It was…different.”

Nisha smiled. Since the day she had made him realise that he had to let himself out in the world and make friends, he had been talking to people around him. It was difficult at the beginning since he had never made any effort since he had Sona.

“Different? Good different or bad different?”

She asked with a raised eyebrow. He smiled and said.

“Good different. I thought they might not welcome me but they did. Quiet warmly at that. It felt nice.”

Nisha looked at him and beamed.

“See! I told you!”

He nodded and looked at her with a soft smile. Something in his eyes shifted and she blinked.

“What?”

She asked sensing the change in his emotions.

“I…just…”

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to confess or something. Yash…these emotions might not be true and you might feel all this because-”

“Woah! Calm down! I am not going to confess.”

He looked at her surprised and then chuckled.

“Damn! Woman! What are you thinking?”

Nisha looked ahead, feeling a little embarrassed.

“I don’t know. Usually aisa hota hai that you start feeling things for the one person who’s there when no one else is. It’s not true every time.”

(Usually it happens…)

She shrugged and he nodded, getting her point.

“Well, I’m not confessing my feelings. At least not like that. I just…wanted to thank you.”

She now looked at him with a frown.

“Tum nhi hoti toh mai nhi hota, Nisha. Quite literally. I would have jumped. You gave me the time to think. Jo mai uss waqt nhi kr paa raha tha. You saved me. So, thank you, Nisha.”

(I wouldn’t have been here had you not been here, Nisha….That I wasn’t able to do then.)

He said softly and she smiled, patting the back of his hand.

“No really! Thank you so much, Nisha. For being there. Holding me back when I needed it the most. I just don’t know how to ever repay you.”

He said with moistened eyes. She looked ahead and chuckled.

“Stop it now! You’re trying to make me cry, right.”

He chuckled and wiped his own tear that escaped.

“Too bad I can’t cry.”

She said with a humourless chuckle. He frowned and turned to face her.

“What does that mean? You can’t cry?”

She shrugged and kept looking ahead.

“I mean I haven’t cried since I was what….5? Maybe 6?”

He was shocked. How was that possible? 

“I don’t…understand.”

He said and she sighed.

“My mother died while giving birth to me. Papa was…well he was never there. I grew up with my grandparents. Papa was in the army. And I respect him a lot. But only as a soldier. Because as a father, I never knew him.”

A distant look crossed her eyes as she went into flashbacks. Yash sat there in silence, letting her speak her feelings out.

“I was 5 or 6 when he was martyred. I never met him. At least not an event I remember. But I remember, when his body was brought back…everyone was crying. I was a baby. Sabko dekh kr mujhe bhi rona aa gaya. And then everyone quieted me saying that I shouldn’t cry. That I was an army man’s daughter. Brave. Someone who shouldn't be seen as weak. Someone who shouldn’t cry.”

(Seeing everyone cry, I also started to cry.)

Yash was appalled. What kind of stupid logic was that?

“Uske baad jab bhi kuch hota. Chot lagi ya kuch bhi aur. Mai roti toh sab yahi kehte ki ro mat. Tu brave hai. Army officer ki beti hai. Ek bahadur soldier ki beti hai. Ro mat. Aur mai chup ho jaati thi. My grandparents died. And I was told the same things again. I stopped crying again. Aur ab…ab rona aata hi nhi hai.”

(After that whatever happened. Even if I got hurt or anything. I cried and everyone quietened me. You are brave. Army officer’s daughter. A brave soldier’s daughter. Don’t cry. And I got quiet…..And now…now I can’t cry.)

She chuckled suddenly as if remembering something interesting. But that sound was so hollow and he knew something really bad was about to come.

“You know there was this guy…a few months back. He was a…friend. I didn’t know he was interested. He invited me to a party at his place and believing his words and not knowing his intentions I went. There was obviously no one there when I reached. He said that they’d join in some time and were running late.”

She took a deep breath. Her voice had started wavering at the end and his heart thudded in his chest. He squeezed her hand and his jaw clenched, knowing what was about to come.

“Long story short….he tried to force himself on me. Almost did. Until I smashed a vase on his head and ran.”

“Nisha-”

“But you know what everyone said. They said that I was brave. They were proud that I stood up against him and that they were proud of me.”

The pain in her eyes and voice were so suffocating. He wanted to do something to ease her pain. Like she did to him.

“Uss moment…uss ek pal ke liye…bass uss waqt mai brave nhi hona chahti thi. I wanted someone to hold me. Someone to tell me that it’s ok to break down once in a while. It’s ok to cry and it doesn’t make me weak. I wanted someone to…someone to just….you know.”

(That moment…for that one moment…just that time I did not want to be brave.)

She shrugged. Her eyes filled with tears but she couldn’t let them drop. She couldn’t cry. Yash didn’t waste any moment and pulled her in his arms. Held her. Rubbed her back. And whispered the words she had yearned to listen to all her life.

“I’ve got you. Cry! Cry all you want. It doesn’t make you weak, Nisha. It makes you a human. You were brave but you don’t have to be brave right now. Let yourself be weak. Let your emotions out. Cry! Please cry.”

“Yash-”

She started to push away, not wanting to cry but he held on securely.