“You know I’m an orphan right?”

She gave a small nod and he took a deep breath before starting.

“I never had anyone…anyone that I could call my family. For years…I was alone. Taking care of myself, trying to make it seem like I was fine alone. Finding solace in my own company and making peace with loneliness.”

She could understand what he was saying. They weren’t very different from each other. He was an orphan by birth and she was an orphan since she was 5. Not much different. 

“And then…I met her. Sona. Aisa laga jaise jeena ka reason mil gaya. We started as friends. She was always there. In every stage of my life. Like a true friend. Always beside me. Supported me. We were 14 when we met. 18 when we started dating.”

(It felt like I got the reason to live.)

Nisha could feel where this was going. The girl must have betrayed him. Or did something bad.

“13 years….13 years we’ve been friends and 9 years of those we’ve been dating.”

Fresh tears started forming in his eyes and he sniffed. Nisha took the glass of water from him and kept it aside. She patted his knee and whispered.

“It’s ok. Take your time. Take deep breaths.”

He did and took deep breaths to control his emotions.

“She…she met a man…a few months back. He’s a…a new colleague. He has been pursuing her since the first day. She had very respectfully rejected him saying that she was committed.”

Ok? That was good, right? Nisha waited patiently for him to finish what he wanted to say.

“He kept trying. Took it as a challenge. She kept maintaining her distance. But then…he used a different approach. Said he wanted to be friends. She didn’t say no. I mean, of course. Why would you deny being someone’s friend, right?”

Nisha had no idea what to say so just nodded at his words. Silently supporting him and patting his knee for comfort. 

“About a month back, he started filling her ears against me. That I was manipulating her, into being with her. Emotionally blackmailing her because I was an orphan and she felt bad for me.”

What the hell?! Nisha was shocked. That was very cheap of that man.

“She obviously rebuked him initially. But you know what happens when….when someone continuously puts the same thing in your mind. You start to believe it…even if it’s not true.”

He gulped and took a long breath, before continuing.

“She started believing him. She started arguing with me over small things. Started spending more time with him. And when he was sure she trusted him completely, he showed her pictures.”

“Pictures?”

He nodded and his eyes filled with tears as he stared into oblivion, as if recalling the events.

“Digitally generated pictures of me and women. Women I don’t even know. In comprising positions. She…believed them. Believed him. We fought. I tried telling her that he was deceiving her. But wo sunna hi nhi chahti thi. She had made up her mind that I was cheating on her.”

(But she did not want to listen.)

Nisha kept looking at him. He gulped and continued.

“She broke up with me. Mujhe laga ki abhi gusse mai hai. Thoda shaant ho jaaye toh baat krunga. I went to her apartment a few hours later. And guess what I found?”

(I thought she is angry right now. I will talk to her when she calms down a little.)

He asked with a humourless smile and Nisha closed her eyes, knowing the answer.

“I found her in bed. With that man. She slept with him to get back at me. To get even for something I never did. And she flaunted that while that fucker smirked at me.”

They stayed in silence for some time. Until he spoke.

“Go ahead!”

She looked at him with a frown and asked.

“What?”

“Go ahead and tell me I’m stupid. That I’m an idiot for trying to take my life because a girl left me.”

Her eyes softened and she kept her palm over his.

“You’re not stupid. You’re hurt and betrayed. By someone who you’ve considered your reason for living. I can’t even imagine how that feels. Getting betrayed by the one and only person who you consider your family. So no! You’re not stupid.”

He felt relieved. She understood him. She felt he wasn’t stupid.

“But that doesn’t make your actions right. Taking your life? That’s not the solution, Yash. That's never the solution.”

“What else do I do? Kya hai mere paas jiske liye zinda rahu?”

(What do I have to live for?)

He asked in desperation. Wanting, needing something, someone to hold onto.

“Apne liye. Your existence is the biggest reason for you to continue living. Live for yourself. Show the world how one lives for oneself. Be the change, Yash. Let people talk. Ki ye wahi ladka hai…jo kuch nhi tha aaj itna kuch ho gaya hai.”

(For yourself….That he is the same man…who was nothing once and is so much today.)

He looked at her, processing her words and then asked.

“And then what? What will I have? Who will I have? At the end, I will be alone. Like I was. I was alone for the first 14 years of my life. Aadat thi mujhe. And then she came along and I forgot how to be alone. I don’t know how to be alone anymore, Nisha. Dam ghutta hai. Aisa lagta hai mar jaaunga.”

(I was habitual…I feel suffocated. I feel like I will die.)

She bit her lip and gulped her tears. She couldn’t cry. She hadn’t cried. Ever. 

“Akele kaha ho Yash? Kitne log hai. Tumne khud ko baandh lia tha uss ladki ke saath. Ki wo hai toh aur koi nhi chahiye. Go out. Make new friends. Sirf wo hi nhi thi. Bhut log hai. Mai hu.”

(Who said you’re alone, Yash? You tied yourself to that girl. That you don’t want anyone if she’s there….She was not the only one. There are lot of people. I am here.)

He nodded and wiped his tears.

“You’re right. You’re right I…it was reckless of me. Mujhe pata nhi mai kya…mai kuch soch nhi paa raha tha. Thank you.”

(I don’t know what I…I couldn’t think anything.)

He whispered. She smiled and squeezed his hand. They sat in silence for some time.

It took him some time to get the thoughts of committing suicide out of his mind. Nisha supported him and heard him throughout.

The terrace became their meet-up spot. Yash was already on the terrace when Nisha arrived. They smiled at each other and Nisha sat beside him, taking her usual spot.