“Shaadi ke saare rituals uske saath, haldi uske naam ki aur..”

(All the rituals with him, haldi of his name and…)

He held her hand and traced Pratham’s name on her palm. His heart burned seeing his name on her skin. But for her, he controlled himself.

“Mehandi uske naam ki. Sab kuch toh Pratham ke naam ka hua hai, toh husband mai kaise hua?”

(Mehandi of his name. Everything happened with Pratham’s name, then how am I the husband?)

His eyes held an emotion she couldn’t understand. He confused her sometimes. The way he looked at her often made her think that he felt something for her. But then, he would go back to being all buddy-buddy with her.

“Sanvi… you’re confused. Aur wo confusion jayaz hai. Itni jaldi mai kuch decide mat kr. Let Pratham come back. Talk to him. Talk to your parents. I don’t want you to regret anything later on. Tu jo bhi decision legi, usse hum teeno ki lives affect hongi, Sanvi. Don’t take any decision in a haste. Take your time, pr jo bhi decide kre, just remember one thing, mai hamesha tere saath hu. Hmmm?”

(And that confusion is legitimate. Don’t decide anything in a rush…Whatever decision you take, will affect all three of ours lives, Sanvi…Take your time, but whatever you decide, just remember one thing, I am always with you.)

He said in a soft tone. The way he always did when talking to her and she nodded. He kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger for a moment longer. She immediately melted and sighed. 

“Tu baith! Mai banata hu tere liye kuch. Thanks for the methi paranthas though.”

(You sit! I will make something for you.)

He said with a wink and pushed her out of the kitchen. And there he was! The buddy Abir. 

A few days had passed and Sanvi still couldn't understand what to do. Abir had left everything on her. 

She was on the balcony of his room when a strong aroma hit her senses. She saw a cup of coffee being forwarded in front of her. She saw Abir’s smiling face as he held two coffee cups.

Smiling at him, she accepted the cup and thanked him.

“I'm confused Abir.”

She spoke after a few minutes of silence. He has always been her guiding star. Whenever she was in a dilemma about something, he helped her.

Abir looked at her, giving her all his attention.

“Mujhe samajh nhi aa raha ki mera rishta kya hai? Tere saath aur Pratham ke saath. Mumma papa kehte hai ab tu mera husband hai. Tu kehta hai ki hamari shaadi proper huyi hi nhi hai. Kuch samajh nhi aa raha mujhe.”

(I don’t understand what relationship I have? With you and with Pratham. Mumma papa say that you are my husband. You say that we are not properly married. I don’t understand anything.)

Abir sighed and kept his coffee cup aside. He did that again, lifted her chin with his index finger, making her look into his eyes.

“That depends on who you want. If you want to get married to Pratham, we can get…an annulment. If you don't want that, we can still get an annulment or…get married properly.”

A flicker of hope, a feeling she didn't understand erupted in her heart. 

“You want to get married to me?”

“If that's what you want.”

She frowned. Why did he always leave it on her? What about his feelings?

“And what about what you want? Tu kya chahta hai Abir?”

(What do you want Abir?)

“Doesn't matter -”

“It does! Why do you always sideline your feelings? Your feelings do matter!”

She said sternly and he sighed.

“I have accepted my fate, Sanvi. I'm ok with whatever you decide and whoever you choose. Bas tu khush reh, ok?”

(You just stay happy, ok?)

Accepted his fate? What did that even mean? Why did it feel like he was hiding something from her? Something that could change their lives forever.

Sanvi couldn't sleep that night. She lay awake and kept staring at the ceiling. Everyone suggested she talk to Pratham once he returned and then make her decision.

But did she really want him now? Did she ever want him, was the real question. 

The next day at breakfast, she asked him about his parents.

“Tu apne parents ko nhi batayega?”

(Will you not tell your parents?)

“About what?”

He asked confused and she scowled.

“Ye jo bhi hua hai, iss shaadi ke baare mai.”

(Whatever had happened, this marriage.)

“They won’t care.”

He said. She knew that. His parents had never bothered to check in on him. They never cared how he was or what he did in his life.

“But I guess batana toh chahiye. What if they turn up unannounced someday and get surprised to see me here?”

(But I guess you should tell.)

She said and he lowered his head. 

“It’s not them turning up that I am worried about.”

He mumbled under his breath and she frowned.

“Huh?”

“Nothing! Tu unki tension mat le. In the past 3 years, they’ve not even bothered to call me once let alone give me a surprise visit. Aur aa bhi gye toh mai handle kr lunga.”

(Don’t worry about them….And even if they do, I’ll handle.)

A few weeks later was Sanvi’s birthday. There was no contact from Pratham’s side at all during the entire period.

Abir reached home and searched for her. He could not wish her properly in the morning because she was in a hurry. 

“Sanvi?”

“Haan?”

(Yes?)

He heard her voice and she peeked out from the kitchen. He frowned.

“Tu kitchen mai kyu hai? Dinner toh hum saath banate hai na.”

(Why are you in the kitchen? We make dinner together.)

She gave him a sheepish expression and said.

“Mujhe bhuk lagi thi toh mai sandwich bana rhi thi. Tu khaayega?”

(I was hungry so I was making sandwich. Will you have?)

He shook his head and motioned her to come forward. She did and he snaked his hands around her waist and pulled her into his arms. He took her in a tight hug and she sighed and melted against him, rounding her arms around his neck.

“Happy Birthday!”

He whispered and she smiled, whispering a ‘Thank you’ back to him. They stayed in the embrace for some time. Abir realised what he was doing and pulled back.

“I have something for you.”

He mumbled and pulled out a small box from his bag. She grinned while taking it and gasped as she took in the contents of the box.

“Abir! This is so pretty! Thank you so much! Lekin ye expensive hoga na-”

(But it must be expensive-)

“Gifts ki keemat nhi lagayi jaati.”

(Gifts are not to be valued in terms of money.)

He cut her short and she looked at him. 

“Lekin-”

(But-)

“Shhh! Tujhe pasand aaya na?”

(You liked it right?)

She nodded and smiled

“Bohot!”

(A lot!)

He smiled and kissed her head and she closed her eyes, relishing the feeling.