“She was so lucky to have you as her husband, Srish. You loved her so much.”

Jiya concluded with a smile, making Srish chuckle.

“We were never a couple. We could never have been a couple. She was like a sister to me. Mai bas uska character kharab hote huye nhi dekh skta tha Jiya. I didn’t love her like that.”

(I just couldn’t let her character be ruined.)

That reminded Jiya of their conversation on the day when Varsha disclosed her pregnancy.

“That reminds me. I heard you guys talking about someone you love. You said you have accepted ki wo tujhe kabhi nhi milegi. You never told me about her.”

(You said you accepted that you would never get her.)

She teased and nudged his shoulder, trying to distract him, unaware about the bomb that was about to be dropped on her.

“You don’t want to know.”

He mumbled and she frowned.

“Kyu? Aisa kaun hai ki mujhe nhi bata skta aur Varsha ko bata dia tha?”

(Why? Who is she that you can tell Varsha but not me?)

She asked with a hint of teasing and he looked into her eyes. Conveying from his eyes, what his words couldn’t.

The smile on her lips slowly decreased as she deciphered the look in his eyes. Realisation dawned upon her and Srish knew that from this moment onwards, nothing was going to be the same between them.

She turned her face away and got up, starting to leave. He held her wrist while still looking ahead. 

“Naam toh sunti jaa.”

(Atleast listen to the name.)

He whispered and she gulped the lump forming in her throat.

“M-mujhe nhi jaana.”

(I-I don’t want to know.)

She whispered back and he chuckled humourlessly.

“Fine. Naam nhi lunga. But trust me when I say this, dimaag ko bhut samjhaya hai maine, ki ab wo meri nhi ho skti. Par dil nhi samajh paa raha. Aaj bhi iss umeed mai baitha hai ki uske aur mere beech kuch possible hai. Something more than just friendship.”

(Fine. I won’t take her name. But trust me when I say this, I tried to explain myself a lot, that she could never be mine. But my heart is not ready to accept it. There is still a hope that something is possible between me and her.)

He started and she felt tears pool in her eyes. She didn’t turn and he didn’t get up. Both of them frozen in their places.

“Usse lagta hai mai uski shaadi pr isliye nhi aaya tha kyunki mujhe return flight nhi mili. Mai aana hi nhi chahta tha. Kaise dekh leta usse apni aankhon ke saamne kisi aur ka hote huye. Jinn aankhon ne har waqt sirf usse dekhna chaha hai, unn aankhon ko ye kaise dikhata ki ab wo meri kabhi nhi ho skti. Ki mujhe ab koi haq nhi hai usse dekhne ka. Uske baare mai sochne ka.”

(She thinks I didn’t attend her wedding because I didn’t get a return flight. I didn’t want to come. How could I see her becoming someone else’s before my eyes. That eyes that have always wanted to admire her, how could I show those eyes that she could never be mine now. That I have no right to see her now. Think about her now.)

She bit back a sob and clenched her fists. 

“Aaj bhi ye lagta hai ki shayad hamare beech mai kuch ho skta hai. Tum hi batao ki kaise samjhau iss dil ko, ki usne mujhe ek dost se jyada kabhi nhi dekha. Ki wo aaj bhi apne pati se pyaar krti hai. Itna ki kasam khaa baithi hai ki kabhi dobara shaadi nhi kregi. Kaise samjhau Jiya?”

(I still think something can happen between us. You tell me how to explain myself, that she never saw me as anything more than a friend. That she still loves her husband. So much that she had sworn not to remarry. How should I explain myself, Jiya?)

The moment he took her name with so many emotions in his voice, she broke down. She turned and saw him standing in front of her with his own tears falling down his eyes. His eyes that held such deep love for her. How did she never realise that?

“Srish… mai ye…mai ye nhi kr skti. Please… please don’t waste your time and emotions on me…I…”

(Srish…I…I can’t do this.)

She sobbed and he pulled her closer and hugged her.

“Shhhh! I’m sorry! I didn’t want to make you cry. You don’t have to force yourself to do anything, Jiya. My feelings are mine to handle. And I can handle them. Aaj tak krta aaya hu. Aage bhi kr lunga.”

(I have handled them till now. And I can do it in the future too.)

He said with a sad smile and she cried harder. 

“I’m so sorry! Mujhe kabhi…kabhi realise hi nhi hua…but I…Arnesh had been the only person I had been with…unke baad jab mumma papa ne shaadi ke baare mai baat krni shuru kri toh aisa laga jaise…jaise mai unpr cheat kr rhi hu…I can’t….I can’t erase the memories of him, Srish.”

(I never…never realised…but I…Arnesh had been the only person I had been with…after him when mumma papa talked about marriage, I felt…like I am cheating on him…I can’t…I can’t erase the memories of him, Srish.)

He rubbed her back and nodded in understanding. He could understand how difficult it was to lose someone so close to your heart.

“You deserve someone who is true to you. I can’t give you that. Not when I know that I still think about Arnesh sometimes.”

He nodded again, although it pinched his heart but he understood. He cupped her face and made her look into his eyes.

“Shhh! It’s ok. I am not asking you to force yourself into something with me just because I feel something for you. Jiya! You’re special to me and there’s no denying that. But I am happy with the bond that we share. Please don’t take that away from me. Promise me that this will not change anything between us. You’ll still consider me your best friend. And behave like the old Jiya with me.”

She nodded and he wiped her tears with his thumbs. He kissed her forehead and hugged her again. 

It took her some days to come back to normal after the confession. But something did change after that day. Like the way she noticed each and every one of his actions towards her and noticed how he had always been extra attentive towards her. Like even when he was busy with work, his first focus was her.

Even her husband, Arnesh had not done things like this. Sure, he was a good man and a good husband, but the way Srish did those little things which people usually don’t notice, made something in her heart tug.

And now, she felt bad for comparing a dead man to somebody. Everyone had a different way of loving. Arnesh’s way was to say it verbally. While Srish did little things. He provided and protected. His way was to show love. And Jiya felt that she had no right to compare people’s way of loving.

It was a Sunday but Jiya was reviewing some pending reports while Srish handled a super active Vrishti. She was growing up beautifully and demanded her parents’ attention 24/7. 

Jiya didn’t hear any voice from the two for a long time and lifted her head up to see what was happening only to get surprised seeing both father and daughter turned towards her. Srish was on his back with his face turned to her side with Vrishti laying on his chest and her face too turned towards her side.

Both of them were admiring Jiya with a smile. That made her both blush and her heart flutter.