Srish fell to his knees and sobbed. Not caring about the looks he might be getting, he sobbed. He was the one responsible for her well-being. And he couldn’t do the one thing she had entrusted him with. 

“All of this is my fucking fault. Sab meri galti hai. We lost her because of my carelessness. I will…I will never forgive myself. Mai kabhi khudko…”

(All of this is my fault….I will never…)

His voice broke and he broke down again. Jiya sat there sobbing. With shaking hands, she picked up her phone and called both her and Srish’s families. 

“Mumma papa aur uncle aunty aa rhe hai Srish. Sambhal khudko. For the baby, Srish.”

(Mumma papa and uncle aunty are coming. Handle yourself.)

“Sambhalu khudko? Kaise sambhalu Jiya? Kaise? Ye jaante huye ki uski maut ka zimmedar mai hu.”

(Handle myself? How do I do that, Jiya? How? After knowing that I am the one responsible for her death.)

He asked with his voice full of self-hatred. Jiya cupped his face and made him look into her eyes. 

“Tumhari galti nhi hai Srish. It was an accident. Aur tujhe sambhalna hoga khudko. Uss bachi ke liye. We promised Varsha ki hum uske saath hamesha hai. Ki uske bache ko kabhi kisi cheez ki kami nhi mehsoos hogi jab tak hum uske saath hai. She sacrificed her life for her baby because she knew that her baby would be loved and cared for. She trusted us, Srish. Aur tumne toh zimmedari li thi na. Get yourself together. The baby needs us. She needs us, Srish.”

(You are not at fault, Srish….And you have to handle yourself. For that baby. We promised Varsha that we are always with her. That the baby will not feel lack of anything until we are with her….And you took the responsibility right.)

Jiya was crying all throughout. Srish nodded and bit his lip to control his tears and sobs. 

A month passed and the baby was out of the incubator and was brought home. Varsha’s last rites were done but nothing felt normal. Every corner of their houses reminded them of her. Losing her felt like losing a limb. One could get used to it with time but could never feel complete. 

Something would always feel missing with her gone. The whole month, Jiya and Srish kept sailing because of the baby girl. She was an exact copy of her mother. As if Varsha’s soul had taken rebirth in the form of her daughter. And maybe she had.

And now, the baby is finally home. Jiya, Srish, and both of their families welcomed her home. Varsha’s parents were yet again not present and unbothered even after their daughter’s death. And Jiya was sure this was because the baby was a girl. Had the baby been a boy, they would have fought tooth and nail to get the child’s custody.

The baby was sleeping peacefully, not bothered at being passed around for everyone to have a look at her. Both sets of parents’ eyes filled with tears.

“Ye bilkul hamari Varsha jaisi hai. Kya naam socha hai? Pandit ji ne V se naam bola tha na.”

(She is exactly like our Varsha. What name did you think? The priest told the letter V.)

Srish’s mother asked and Jiya and Srish looked at each other. Jiya smiled and spoke.

“Varsha gave her life to bring this little Varsha into the world. Varsha ne hamesha apni smiles se hum sabki ki zindagiyon mai khushiyon ki baarish kri thi. Aur ab ye nanhi jaan bhi ussi ka roop banke hamari lives mai aayi hai. Humne iska naam Vrishti socha tha. Another name for rain.”

(Varsha has always showered our lives with happiness with her smiles. And this little angel has come into our lives as her soul. We thought of her name as Vrishti.)

“Bhut pyaara naam hai. Hamari chhoti Varsha…Vrishti.”

(It’s a lovely name. Our little Varsha…Vrishti.)

Jiya’s mother, who was holding the baby in her arms, kissed her little head. The baby cracked a small smile while sleeping as if approving her name, making everyone smile.

Jiya was planning on shifting in Srish’s home because he would not be able to take care of the baby alone. Their families were in support and helped them adjust. The two were given detailed instructions about how to handle a baby.

“Jiya? Feeding ka kya socha hai? Formula milk ya…”

(How have you thought of feeding her? Formula milk or…)

Her mother didn’t complete it. She knew Jiya was lactating but didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

“Nhi mumma. Breastfeed hi socha tha. Koi option nhi hota toh formula milk use kr skte the. But doctors ne bhi yahi suggest kia hai ki breastfeed hi kre. Already thodi weak hai premature hone ki wajah se. Ye bhi ek reason tha mere yaha shift hone ka.”

(No mumma. Breastfeed only. If we had no option then we would have gone for formula milk. But doctors also suggested breastfeeding. She is already weak due to being premature. This was also one of the reasons I had to shift here.)

She explained and her mother nodded. 

“Kisi bhi cheez ki zarurat ho kabhi bhi, toh bejijjak call kr dena. Tu kahegi toh mai kuch mahine yahi reh jaaungi. Tum dono ki help bhi ho jaayegi.”

(Call me without hesitation if you need anything. If you say I will stay here for some time. The two of you would get some help also.)

“Nhi mumma. Papa akele reh jaayenge. Aap wahi raho. Mujhe kuch bhi lagega toh mai call kr lia krungi.”

(No mumma. Papa will get alone there. You stay there. I will call you if I require anything.)

Her mother nodded again and by the evening, everyone else took their leave, leaving Srish and Jiya alone with the baby.

“So? What next?”

Srish asked. And Jiya shrugged. Sure, she had given birth to a baby but she had no clue what to do with one.

“She’s asleep.”

“I know. What do you do with a sleeping baby? Do we need to feed her? But she was fed just half an hour back. Do we need to check her nappy? Do we just sit with her and like…wait? What do we do?”

He sounded so confused and so cute that Jiya couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“We rest. Mai hu iske paas. She is sleeping. We should also get some rest.”

(I am there with her.)

“But-”

“Srish! Wo uthegi toh mai bata dungi. Jaao aur so jaao thodi der. Go! I’m here with her.”

(I will tell you if she wakes up. Go and sleep for some time.)

He nodded and left the room with one last look at Vrishti. Jiya took her place on the bed beside her and kept a light hand on her stomach.

Srish lay on his bed wide awake. Tears fell from his eyes remembering how excited and happy Varsha was to hold her baby in her arms. It was all because of him.

“I promise you Varsha, usse kabhi bhi kisi cheez ki kami nhi mehsoos hogi. I’ll protect her with my life. Just like you did. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

(I promise you Varsha, she will never feel the lack of anything.)

He whispered and was soon out because of the exhaustion. His eyes snapped open when he felt like he heard her crying.

He immediately sprang out of the bed and rushed towards the room where she was sleeping. In his panicked state, he completely forgot that Jiya was with her. He could only remember the moment he had found Varsha lying on the floor.