After dinner, she joined him in their room. She could feel his stare on her which wasn’t unusual for her. She had seen him stare at her more often than not. 

“Ummm…mera phone shayad tumhari side wali table pr hai. De do please.”

She heard his voice and turned to look at the side table on her side. She had just picked up his phone when her gaze fell on a brown paper packet. She frowned because it wasn’t there earlier. She gave him his phone and then picked up the packet.

She opened it and a gasp escaped her lips. She turned to look at him with a childlike excitement in her eyes. Zeeshan chuckled at her happiness.

She jumped forward and hugged him tightly. His arm went around her waist to stabilize her and they laughed together. One of the moments when he behaved like a husband to her.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

She grinned and he smiled, caressing her cheeks. That very moment, he realised what he was doing and withdrew his hand. She knew she had to act fast before he made things awkward.

“Ab laaye hai toh pehna bhi dijiye.”

“Iss waqt pehnogi?”

“Dekh toh lu ek baar.”

He shook his head with a soft smile and helped her wear the bracelets made from gajre. She showed her wrists adorned with the bracelet to him.

The next morning, Sidra got dressed for work and then stood in front of Zeeshan. She forwarded the gajres and her wrist towards him.

“Pehna dijiye.”

“Ye abhi tak fresh hai?”

“Maine raat ko fridge mai rakh diye the.”

She grinned at her smartness and he smiled helping her.

“Office pehn kr jaaogi?”

“Haan! Sabko dikhaungi ki mere shauhar ne diye hai.”

She said and jiggled them with a giggle. He too smiled and they shared an eyelock. Something in her eyes shifted and his smile fell seeing the intensity in her eyes.

She took a step closer to him and kept her hand on his chest. His heart was beating at an abnormal rate matching her own.

She raised herself on her tip toes and closed her eyes. Zeeshan clenched his fists. Before he could process what she intended and try to stop it from happening, her lips were on his.

Both of them were utterly still for the first 10 seconds. Something in him snapped when she placed soft pecks on his lips. He unclenched his fists and held his arms. 

He held her away from his body and looked at her wide eyed. Sidra looked at him embarrassed.

“I…I can’t. Mai ye nhi kr skta. I’m sorry!”

With that, he rushed out of the room and house. She stood there embarrassed through her bones. She felt rejected. Why would he say that? Even after three months of their marriage? Did he feel so much repulsed getting kissed by her?

She couldn’t concentrate on work the whole day. She kept replaying his reaction and rejection.  Zeeshan on the other hand was drowned in guilt. The moment of the accident kept playing in his mind overshadowing every other feeling.

Sidra had returned from work earlier because she couldn’t concentrate at all. She had spent the entire evening being scooped up inside the blanket. When she heard voices outside her room, she knew her husband was back and she sat straighter.

The blanket was still wrapped around her. She waited for Zeeshan to look at her. But seemed like he was fixated on ignoring her presence. He went to the washroom and Sidra waited for him to exit in hope that he would acknowledge her then.

But when he moved out of the room after coming out from the washroom, her resolve broke. Tears fell from her eyes and she bit her lip to contain the sob that was threatening to break free. The door opened again and she sobbed not being able to contain herself.

Zeeshan, who had forgotten her phone in the room, froze midstep. He felt like somebody had plunged multiple daggers into his heart when he saw her crying. Without any after thought, he moved towards her and took her into his arms. She thrashed against him and tried to brea free but he held on tighter.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry Sidra. Please stop crying.”

“What? What are you sorry for?”

“For everything.”

He whispered and she cried. She closed her eyes and cried in his arms. Tired of being the only person putting effort into their relationship. Tired of waiting for him to open up.

“Kya itna bura hai mere kareeb aana Zeeshan?”

She asked in a broken whisper. He closed his eyes and gulped.

“Nhi. Tumhari koi galti nhi hai. It’s me.”

“Mai mohabbat krti hu aapse.”

She confessed and he took deep breaths. 

“Mai nhi deserve krta tumhari mohabbat ko. Mai nhi deserve krta tumhe Sidra. Tum itni paak ho aur mai ek gunhegaar.”

She looked into his eyes and asked.

“Kyu lagta hai aapko ki aap gunhegaar hai? Kyu lagta hai aapko ki aap deserve nhi krte mujhe aur meri mohabbat ko?”

Tears pooled in his eyes and he looked away.

“Tumhari zindagi mai jo kuch bhi galat hua hai, unn sab ki wajah mai hu Sidra. Wo…wo accident…”

Sidra looked at him with bated breath and Zeeshan wanted to run away somewhere. He knew she was going to hate him after this.

“Wo accident meri wajah se hua tha.”

The room went completely silent. Not even the sound of their breathing was heard. Until Zeeshan started speaking. He narrated the entire sequence of the accident.