“Pr aap aapi se mohabbat krte hai.”

She whispered in a broken voice and he sighed.

“Sach batau toh jo kuch bhi tumne abhi bataya mujhe nhi pata mohabbat hai ya nhi. Aisa lagta hai mai usse jaanta hi nhi at the first place.”

Her eyes twinkled at his words and she asked.

“Toh aap appi se mohabbat nhi krte? Aap mujhse mohabbat kr skte hai?”

He closed his eyes and sighed. He looked in front and said.

“Kisi se mohabbat na krna aur kisi aur se mohabbat krne mai bhut farak hota hai Zainab. Maine tumhe kabhi uss nazar se nhi dekha. Mere liye tum aaj bhi wo 5 saal ki Zainab ho jo do chotti banake mere peeche peeche ghumti thi.”

“Lekin mai 5 saal ki nhi hu ab. 22 ki ho gyi hu aur 23 ki ho jaaungi iss saal.”

She exasperated and he sighed again. He didn't want to break her heart. What could he do that she understood on her own?

“Jaanta hu! Pr mujhse bhut chhoti ho!”

“Sirf 5 saal!”

She countered and he got mum.

“Mai ye nhi kr skta Zainab. Please don't keep any hopes and hurt yourself.”

He whispered and another tear fell from her beautiful eyes. They held a eye contact for a few seconds before she nodded.

“Okay! Mai force nhi krungi aap ko.”

And with that she ran away leaving Asif in his guilt of breaking her heart.

The next morning, Asif reached the dining table to see Zainab already eating her breakfast. The moment she saw him, she quickly finished the bite she was eating and got up.

“Mai chalti hu ammi.”

“Arre! Abhi toh time hai. Mai chhod dunga na.”

He said but she didn't meet his eye pretending to look for something in her bag and said.

“Aaj jaldi jaana hai mujhe. Kuch zaruri kaam hai. Aap aaram se naashta kr lein! Mai nikal jauangi. Khuda haafiz abbu!”

She wished her father and left without another glance at his side. Great! Now she was avoiding him.

Zainab didn't talk to Asif or even look at him properly for two days. As usual she was sitting at the breakfast table having her breakfast when he came out of his room. And as usual she hurried off. 

Asif sighed. He knew it was no use of asking her to wait. She'd make some or the other excuse and run away. That's why he had started coming out of his room a little later so that atleast she could have her breakfast in peace.

“Ammi mai chalti hu.”

“Haan! Aur shaam ko time se aa jaana. Amina ko dekhne wo ladke wale aane wale hai.”

Rashid Ali, the man her appi liked and the man who liked her back was coming at their place to finalise the alliance. Zainab finally looked at Asif who stopped eating for a moment but gulped harshly and resumed again.

Her heart broke again. He may say that he didn't love her sister but some feelings were still there.

“Koshish krungi ammi. Aaj assignment submission hai toh ho skta hai thodi deri ho jaaye.”

“Arre ye kya baat hui bhala. Behen ko dekhne ladki wale aa rhe hai aur tumhe assignment ki padi hai.”

Zainab looked at her mother in confusion.

“Haan toh aapi ko dekhne aa rhe hai na. Mujhe thodi na. Important assignment hai. Aur aisa kaunsa wo aapi ko roz nhi dekhte office mai. Aaj kya alag dekh lenge.”

She mumbled but her mother heard and smacked her head.

“Badtameez ho gyi ho ek dum. Chup chap time se ghar pahuchna.”

“Ammi meri assignment -”

“Mai kuch nhi jaanti-”

“Chachijaan! Sahi toh keh rhi hai wo. Amina koi bachi toh hai nhi. Aur phir Zainab kya kaam hai jab wo Amina ko dekhne aa rhe hai toh. Aur zaruri kaam hai tabhi late ho rhi hai na.”

Asif intervened. After Zainab's disclosure about her ammi’s behaviour with her, he had become even more observant. And she wasn't wrong. Her mother nodded at his words and gave a last glare to Zainab. 

Asif expected Zainab to look at him at least now. But she just took her bag and ran out making him sigh again.

When her ignorance continued for two weeks straight, he couldn't handle it and cornered her when she was rushing out after breakfast one day.

“Ammi mai chalti hu.”

She called for her mother and took her bag but he was ready this time.

“Chalo mai chhod deta hu. Aaj mujhe bhi thoda jaldi hi pahuchna hai toh tumhe drop krta hua nikal jaaunga.”

Zainab looked at him wide eyed knowing she had no excuse now. She reluctantly followed him and started opening the back door.

“Aage baitho! Driver nhi hu mai!”

“Umm…aage toh aapi baithengi na?”

She asked innocently but it irked him. 

“Tum khud aage aa rhi ho ya mai utha kr laau?”

Both of their eyes widened at his unexpected words.

“Ye kaisi baatein kr rhe hai aap?”

“Sorry! Mera wo matlab nhi tha. Tum please aage aao!”

She sat in front and he started driving immediately.

“Kyu avoid kr rhi ho itne dino se?”

He asked and she bit her lip looking away. She knew this would happen.

“Avoid nhi kr rhi. Distance create kr rhi hu. Ab aaj nhi toh kal aap shaadi toh krenge hi. Aapki hone wali biwi ko achha nhi lagega na. Aur phir ho skta hai thoda aapse alag rhu toh move on bhi kr paau. Kya pata college mai hi koi pasand aa jaaye.”

Asif squirmed in his place and said a little uneasily.

“College? College se koi pasand krne ki zarurat nhi h.”

“Achha? Aur wo kyu?”

Zainab asked. A little hope that he might be affected rose in her heart.

“Ummm…college ke ladke serious nhi hote life ko lekar. Aur waise bhi husband wife se kuch saal bada hi achha lagta hai.”

He said and she raised her eyebrow.

“Toh mai koi job wala dhundu?”

“Tumhe dhunda kyu hai? Padhai pr dhyan do apni.”

She tsked and said.

“Arre pr move on krna hai na. Idea! Ek kaam krti hu ammi abbu se keh deti hu ki nikkah kra de mera. Rukhsati graduation ke baad. Haan ye achha hai.”

She mumbled more to herself and Asif felt his heartbeat drop. Why did the mere thought of her marriage with someone else unsettle him more than Amina’s wedding actually happening?